Category: Nonsense

Tim Allen – Creationist: A Career Revitalization

Dear Mr. Allen, In light of your recent tweet, I wrote a quick short that I think you would be perfect for.  I'm thinking the lead.  Let's discuss. @BastardHans on Twitter

I Think The Time Is Right To Finally Start My Own Cult Or: Why We Don’t Post After Midnight On A Thursday

In a world full of flat earth truthers, people who think the sun is cold and sports talk radio callers who insist on taking their answers off the air, we are living in a very interesting time. With the internet, one would think humanity as a whole would be getting smarter as the free exchange ...

Monday Morning Malice: Bus Station Lobster Roll

So I'm at a Boston bus station at 11 pm Saturday night after watching a 6 hour baseball game where I managed to sit through 9 more innings of baseball than I was allowed to drink, as one does, when I came across this.  What in the ever loving fuck McDonalds?  Let's get past the ...

A Wildly Unnecessary Speculative Review of A Fictional World And It’s Inhabitants

I have an unhealthy affinity for this show.  I like watching it, talking about it, reading about it and even writing about it.  It's incredibly sad and I should be much more ashamed of it than I am.  If I put this kind of time and effort into my school work, my career or relationships ...


How Early Is Too Early To Go To Sleep On A Friday Night?

This is a question I ask myself far too often and I don't really have an answer.  If we didn't live in a society I would be asleep the second the sun went down but we do so I'm not.  Really the only thing keeping me from this is the inevitable questions from other people ...

Lets Go

This is the excerpt for your very first post.