I Honestly Don’t Know If I Like That: Vikings Sign Kirk Cousins

Well, I guess I’m an asshole. Today, my favorite football team has signed the biggest free agent quarterback to hit the open market since Peyton Manning.  Within the next few days the former Washington quarterback, and worlds biggest Creed fan, Kirk Cousins should officially be a member of the Minnesota Vikings and all for the low ...

Girl Gone Wild: Hi, I’m Amy and I’m In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

I am not a diehard football fan.  I don’t own a jersey of my favorite team (Skol!), I need a flowchart to keep track of the coaching changes that have begun since the season ended, and I couldn’t really tell you what happened during professional or college football during the first two years of my ...

Introducing Jimmer With That Red Sox Preview You Didn’t Know You Needed

Last years Boston Red Sox season ended with a pathetic display in the divisional series against the eventual World Champion Houston Astros.  Any hopes the Red Sox had of advancing after Game 2 were shot faster than a teenager after their second pump into a holed-out microwaved cantaloupe.  What was evident as the Red Sox ...

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One; Another Vikings QB Question Bit

If you follow football, in particular the Minnesota Vikings, you have undoubtedly seen no less than 8 million pieces on their quarterback situation.  I cannot tell you how bored I have become by these.  This is not just because they all say different versions of the same never going to happen scenario but because they ...

Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead: The Story of National Lampoon – Not a Review

Tonight I watched the National Lampoon documentary on Netflix called "Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead" but I don't really have anything to say about the movie itself.  I suppose it was interesting and I guess I'm glad I watched it but I don't think any of it will stick with me in any significant way, which ...

Wait, MLB Opening Day 2018 Is On A Thursday??

As I slowly emerge from my football induced tunnel vision and begin to look ahead to the next pointless sports related time suck I will be engaging in, I suddenly became aware of the fact that the 2018 MLB season starts on a Thursday and it’s taken me on a roller coaster of emotions.   My ...

I’m Glad The Vikings Didn’t Win The Super Bowl: A Moratorium of Meh

Another year, another disappointing end.  I suppose disappointing is a strong word.  If I was truly still able to be disappointed by this team I would have to be the most gullible idiot to ever idiot.  It was never not going to end this way.  But that got me thinking.  This season was a fun, ...

Yeah, I’m Thinking I’m Back

There is nothing sadder to me than coming across a website or blog that hasn’t been updated in months, years, or even a decade.  It always makes me think, what happened?  Did they give up? Did they get lazy?  Did they run out of things to say?  Did they tragically die in some sort of ...

Hard Knocks Episode 2: A Couple Thoughts

HBO's Hard Knocks episode 2 came out last night I was just going to watch it and let it go into the ether but then that music hit and I had no choice.  A couple thoughts real quick. DeSean Jackson talking shit about LeBron will always garner a post.  Him basically calling him a pussy ...

Tim Allen – Creationist: A Career Revitalization

Dear Mr. Allen, In light of your recent tweet, I wrote a quick short that I think you would be perfect for.  I'm thinking the lead.  Let's discuss. @BastardHans on Twitter

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