Monday Morning Malice: Bus Station Lobster Roll

So I’m at a Boston bus station at 11 pm Saturday night after watching a 6 hour baseball game where I managed to sit through 9 more innings of baseball than I was allowed to drink, as one does, when I came across this.  What in the ever loving fuck McDonalds?  Let’s get past the part where this should never be on your menu period, but bus station McDonalds is the lowest rung of all the McDonalds.  The hierarchy goes stand alone, food court, truck stop, airport, anywhere in Florida, then bus station.  I readily expect to receive a full side of intestinal distress when eating at a bus station McDonalds.  If you think it will end any other way you are delusional.  That’s a contract you enter into when your life choices have led you to this bastion of depression but it’s understood.  But adding this option to the already suspect menu and corresponding preparation one would expect from this locale is borderline criminal.  This is praying on the mentally ill or people with extreme head trauma because no one with a functional frontal lobe would ever make this purchase unless they had the mental horsepower of a butterfly with aspergers.  The most baffling part of this is that actual adults who walk among us went through meeting after meeting where this was pitched, agreed on and approved.  Not one person stood up and said, “really?”  It’s the fast food equivalent of the German in 1939 who just looked the other way.  It’s the beginning of the end, folks.  I hope you’ve all enjoyed yourself until now because this is it.  History will not be kind to this, McDonalds. Shame.  Also, happy Monday!

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